Arrest Warrants Issued in Goodyear for Brewer and Obama?

In this town, some feel that this could really happen. Thanks to a reader for the suggestion.

The Goodyear, Arizona Police Department issued felony assault and disorderly conduct arrest warrants for Jan Brewer and Barack Obama today based upon their chilling encounter on the tarmac yesterday in Phoenix.

“He clearly touched her elbow,” stated interim fire chief/interim assistant city manager/interim Roger Matlin victim Paul Luizzi, “and he may have even tried to ‘lead her away’ which as we have shown in our town has felony implications.”  “I had flashbacks when I saw the photo in the paper today of my encounter with mass disorderly conduct-or Roger Matlin,” Luizzi added.  “And furthermore I had bad dreams again last night about the entire sordid Matlin affair” he said.

“She was pointing at him! She was pointing at him! She was pointing at him! And I think she may have touched him,” witness extraordinaire and Assistant City Manager and Chief Tattletale Brian Dalke added.  Dalke was working behind the scenes later to make certain everyone in the city had their stories straight.

“We’re going after them, and we will not leave one stone unturned in our expected several month investigation and pursuit of justice”, added GY’s new police chief at the direction of emails from city council, (for which I will now have to submit a records request because they clearly violate Arizona open meeting laws). “No one besides a few GY city employees heard any disturbance at the council meeting  in the Matlin case, so just because there were jet engines running that prevented us from hearing what Brewer and Obama actually said to each other won’t matter either, ” he added.

“I have experience in these matters, and disorderly conduct will not be tolerated in our city,” added Fischbach with emphasis.


2 Responses

  1. Howard, you have a sharp, insightful sense of humor.

  2. Love it!

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